Vasilina. Polina Soyref, portrait photographer

Vasilina, 31, mother of two

interviewed on 08 May 2020

The fact that I lost my job was of course a blow to me: when your life flows evenly and then everything changes so abruptly, you aren’t ready, naturally. But I understood that I had been thinking worse about myself than I really am. I’m proud that I wasn’t crushed by it—I didn’t give up, didn’t get depressed, didn’t complain. I also realized that there are people around me who I had underestimated; they write and want to help—even those you had never expected to do so—everybody is ready to give a helping hand, and you had never expected that. I mean, people that you seldom communicate with write and say something like, “Do you need any money or help with children? It’s no problem”.

Can’t say that everything has gone back to normal; on the contrary—all is falling apart—you lose your job, and just then, the car breaks down, and immediately your relationship goes downhill because of stress and so on. The kindergartens are closed, I’m constantly with my kids, and this is stressful as well. 

With some people, it’s me who stops the communication; some stop the communication themselves—lots of people have their own problems to deal with and don’t have time to socialize. On the whole, all that has happened influenced me a great deal and, above all, losing my job: I felt the constant lack of finances even before, but when you don’t have a job, it feels like you are knocked off of your feet.

But in some sense, I’m happy that all this has happened—I’m not speaking about the virus but rather about my situation. I’m undergoing a colossal reevaluation of myself as a person. I’m obviously working on that rather than sitting and just staring out of the window—I’m trying to understand something, getting the maximum for myself, trying to see what I haven’t seen before. The main thing I have gained is faith in myself. That’s certain. 100 percent.

“Tell me your story”